January 2010
The morning will scatter these nightmares...
I used to imagine my life as a grotesque abstract patining. I used to invision it as a clatter of crises framed by end-upon-end catastrophes. My days were all grey, my thoughts were the greyest. I was haunted by dead and nameless fears. I was filled with self-loathing. I had no idea who I was, what I was, or why I was….I miss NONE of those feelings. Today, step by step, I am discovering...
Mmmm
Cuban food:)
I'm a terrible person.
I was feeling so up & good and now it’s all coming crashing down, as always. I’m confused. I’m scared for that phone call tomorrow. Crossing my fingers :(
Fuck instant gratification, it always bites me in the end.
Open your mind.
I’d like to tell today’s youth that no matter where life takes you, big cities, small towns, you’ll inevitably come across small minded people who think they’re better than you. People who think that material things, or being pretty or popular, automatically make you a worthwhile human being. I’d like to tell today’s youth that none of these things matter....
This feels like a nightmare.
Something real, please. I have a pounding headache, my wisdom teeth are growing in, I have not done a damn thing I should have. There’s never enough time. I seem to never make any time. I need some motivation. Someone to keep me on my toes.
Tomorrows always a new day but why does it always feel like my days on repeat lately?
I get to spend the weekend with my best friend, can’t wait!
I really wish there were more hours in a day -_-
Disappearing.
I have worked too hard to make relationships work. Most of them didn’t have a chance because the other person was unavailable emotionally or just refused to participate. To compensate for the other person’s unavailability, I worked too hard. I have done most or all of the work. I have grown tired. I have stopped doing all the work. There was no relationship. I feel self defeated....
I believe
I will be taking up boxing very soon ! Wonderful :)
Today’s lame, I’m tired and I think that I think too much.
Some people take things the wrong way and look to blame others for the way they feel, when in fact they were in the wrong to begin with. Time for me to drown in homeowork, BYE.
Figure you out.
Most people don’t know who they are, that’s why they lie. They’re afraid someone else will figure it out before they do.
So here's the truth.
I’m having trouble getting over you.
This was written in the very first letter to you…..
Its when I’m standing six feet away from you and not being able to find the words to tell you how much I love you and how much I miss you that I want to just scream to the whole room that Im still in love with you. Its when Im sitting alone with the phone in my hand dialing your number and...
I've come to realize......
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends...
This is not about you.
Look at me I’ve lost control of my life at age 23 Ive been so lonely lately Without you here You were my best friend and companion Now you’re no where near And its killing me Everything you do makes me fall in love with you I fall a little harder each and every day And it hurts so bad to know what we had is gone But I’ll still treasure every letter that you sent Look in...
I am willing to live with all of who I am.
There are some people, things, and situations that I can do NOTHING about.
Feelings of hurt or anger can be some of the most difficult to face. I can feel so vulnerable, frightened, and powerless when these feelings appear. These feelings trigger memories of other similiar times when I felt powerless. Sometimes to gain a sense of control, I punish the people around me, whether they are to blame...
I hope the next boy you kiss has something...
The pleasure of what we enjoy most is always lost by wanting more.
We are obviously in love
and in need of a dadddddy !!
Rules: Must be a long distance type of relationship, must be straight edge, must be caring and gentle, must be sexy, and down for a good laugh. AND LOVES TO BE SARCASTIC ! A down ass nigga who wants to drink coffee and watch movies with us 24/7 and watch Dexter over and over. Listens to pop punk and got a fit bod ;]
Power Through Powerlessness....
It is necessary for all of us to accept whatever positive gifts we revieve with a deep humility, always bearing in mind that our negative attitudes were first necessary as a means of reducing us to such a state that we would be ready for a gift of the positive ones via the conversion experience.
Today I understand that in forgiving someone else I free myself. I held back on forgiveness because it...
Fist Pumping
the shit out of my face.
For Lia.....
Im calling you daddy daddy can you be my daddy daddy i need a daddy daddy could you be my daddy daddy come and make it wayne down on mee come and make it wayne down on mee uhh wide receever weezy throw da pussy at me ya pussy lips smilin i make da pussy happy take your panties off the pussy lookin at me im the pussy monster now get the pssy ready i like to kiss, she like to kiss...
-If you shoot someone in the head with a .45 every time you kill somebody, it becomes like your fingerprint, see? But if you strangle one, stab another, one you cut up, one you don’t, then the police don’t know what to do. They think you’re 4 different people. What they really like, what makes their job so much easier, is pattern. What they call a modus operenda. That’s...
Buzz off creep.
I think I always get really pissy at the end of the day. I wish I had more time to do fun stuff like paint, play guitar, watch dexter, read books……oh well.
“Everyday is a gift, that’s why they call it the present.”
WRONG.
Listen
Eat healthy, Exercise Daily, Die Anyways.
I love food. This was my dinner ;]
Goodmorning
We need more then a new start, we need a new heart.
"Half of the people in the world are below...
die.die.die.die.die.die.
I really love these too much…